Hello, and welcome to the Life By Design podcast, brought to you by Strategic.This podcast is all about helping you live your great life.Hello, and welcome back to the Life By Design podcast.This week, Melissa Fernald is joining me again.As a reminder, Melissa is a CFP and a certified divorce financial analyst, senior advisor and partner here at Strategic.Yes.Yeah.Thank you, Jay.Yeah, it's a mouthful.It's a- It's a- It is a lot.mouthful.Yeah.Um, yeah, and this time we're going to talk about, um, eh, I hope we can sh- you know, make it a brighter topic, but it's a little bit of a sadder topic, which is, uh, widowhood.Mm-hmm.Um, and we're gonna kinda try to cover, you know, even if it was something that was planned and you, you had an estate planning in, in place, or if this is kind of a shock for you as well- Mm-hmm.maybe some other things that you need to think about.Yeah.And so, I think, you know, Melissa, from, from your standpoint, le- I guess we can just talk about the day, the week after, um, w- what's, kind of what should I be doing?What's the first thing our listeners should be thinking about and, and doing?Yeah.Um, so it really s- starts with, umWell, first I'll just say, um, you know, taking a breath.Hmm.Um, you know, acknowledging the loss, going through those emotions, right?Um, n- normally there's not too much of a rush to do a lot, so you can kinda take that time that you need, uh, to get through that moment.And then, um, you know, w- and really avoid making any kind of rash financial decisions.Um, that's usually, you know, something we would recommend against.Mm-hmm.Um, take some time, settle into this new reality, um, and then from there, you know, figure out kinda what the next steps look like.Um, but then really, it's just getting organized and gathering some key documents.So, um, you know, a lot of times a death certificate is needed to do some financial transactions.Um, if there's life insurance out there, you wanna gather those documents and start, you know, working to notify the right people.Um, if you were working there might be some, um, benefits, you know, that are due to you.Um, if you are retired and receiving Social Security, you know, there's some work to do there, right?Notifying Social Security, adjusting to the newwhat the new income will be.Mm-hmm.So it's really just getting organized.Yeah.UmYeah, and, uh, you know, one of the conversations we had, uh, with Greg from Strategic as well that kinda struck me and, and something that's come up in my own personal life, uh, is understanding the difference between power of attorney and executor of the will.And, and, you know, uh, I'll let you talk to it, but really what Greg said was that power of attorney stops at the moment of death, and then that's when executor of the will picks up.So I think that's a huge thing to understand.That's right.That's right.Yeah.Power of attorney is effective while you're living, who can make decisions on your behalf if you cannot.Mm-hmm.Once you pass away, the will kicks in, and that's where that executor that you named within your will takes over and really starts to play out all those different wishes that you laid out in that will.Yeah.SoAnd, and I think sometimes it's, sometimes it's the same person, right?Could be the same person- Right.could be different people.Yeah.UmBut I think just, you know, I think one of the things t- eh, for people to think about, uh, is, you know, for f- if you're widowed and you had 2 differentLike, making sure you know, because the one person, if they were the power of attorney, they, they're not gonna be able to do anything anymore, and so now you've gotta transfer to the other person, or maybe you are that person, soRight.Yeah.Sometimes you might be that person.Um, you know, j- in, in, um, with spouses that tends to be the case, um, but it could be another family member- Mm-hmm.as well.So that's exactly right.Knowing who that person is and then partnering with them to, you know, under- understand how things will transfer- Yeah.um, the timing of 'em and, and all those different moving parts.So, you know, we kinda talked about, uh, briefly about like kind of collecting, uh, getting organized and collecting your assets and everything that you have.Like, what are some ofWhat would you say are like maybe the top 3 kind of house- I'll call 'em housekeeping- Mm-hmm.tasks that like a newly widowed woman should be, like, tackling right away?Mm-hmm.Yeah.The first part is ensuring you have s- access to cash.Yeah.Um, so understanding what bank accounts you have, how they're titled, and, um, what you have access to, right?'Cause a lot of times if someone owns an account and they pass away, that account freezes- Hmm.um, until you go through that estate process.Um, so s- understanding what cash you have access to, because unfortunately the bills don't stop.Um, so you have to, you know, keep paying bills and you're gonna have some new bills, um, from, you know, um, maybe the funeral home or whatever.Mm-hmm.And so, um, make- ensure you have a- ensuring you have access to cash flow.That's number, number one.Um, and then 2, you know, would be to just start to look at, you know, any life insurance claims, um, getting organized, a list of what accounts are out there, what assets, how are they titled, what do we need to do to get them retitled, um, what are your income sources, right?So you wanna- Yeah.make sure you understand that and how that might change.Um, so there's a lot of moving parts, um, but it can be broken down, you know, into small manageable pieces.And, and the first step really starts with that cash flow, just making sure you have access to cash so you can keep-living your day-to-day life - Right.right?Keep eating, keep, keep the lights on.Um, so that's really where it starts.Yeah.And, uh, you know, I think we've talked about this in other, like, emotional life points, but like, sometimes when this happens, you know, you're, m- sometimes you're losing half of your decision-making team, right?So, how can, how can someone rebuild their financial confidence during this time period?Yeah.Uh, uh, I think it starts with that organization, um, and just understanding where everything is.Mm-hmm.Um, what are those assets?What are your income?What are your expenses?Um, it's a good process, especially if you were not the one who was in charge of paying the bills or, um, you know, managing day-to-day cash flow or if you were the one, you know, who kind of understood where all the different investments were.Uh, s- sometimes in a, in a relationship, uh, in a marriage, one spouse will tend to handle that.Yeah.And if that wasn't you, um, well, n- that can be very overwhelming.Mm-hmm.Um, so it, it starts with getting organized, putting together that balance sheet, that list of assets, liabilities, um, understanding your income, and then understand your, your expenses.So, a lot of times we'll say is let's monitor expenses for one or 2 months- Yeah.um, so that you can understand all the, what all those different expenses are, what money's going where, and then we can, um, you know, think about maybe a budget if we have to.Yeah.And so like how, how do, how do, how would they, they look at kind of s- 'cause there's a lot of different things happening now too, right?Like, there's a lot of survivor benefits, pensions, Social Security, life insurance plan- policies, like all of this stuff.So, how do, how do I look at that in the equation of all of this?Yeah.So, um, that's gonna fall into that, that list of assets, liabilities- Mm-hmm.right?So, if there's life insurance that will pay out to you, um, a death benefit in cash, so that becomes part of your balance sheet now.And, um, things like pensions, Social Security, you know, there's often death benefits on that, so it's working with those providers to understand what that benefit amount will be.Mm-hmm.And, um, you know, maybe if you have to change bank instructions, things like that.Um, so that's all part of that, you know, getting, getting organized.And I know, you know, when we work with clients, we help them through a lot of that.Um- Yeah.So, you don't have to feel like you have to do it all alone.Right.Yeah.Um, you know, there's, there's, um, partners that can help you, whether it be, you know, a financial planner, um, a- or a family member or, you know, a trusted friend, whoever it is.Um, lean on people- Yeah.to help you and, you know, w- take those steps, um, 'cause it can be 0 overwhelming if you think you're facing it alone.Yeah.And I think, you know, we've talked about this before, but really even just having those small steps and, and setting a small goal for yourself to achieve, right?Mm-hmm.That, that helps as well.Exactly.Yeah.What w- what we typically do is we'll break it down into small pieces.You know, here's the most important, here's what we should do first.Yeah.Um, and, you know, here's what we'll tackle next and next and next, and, and just kind of break it down in manageable pieces, and really walk you through that process.And, um, and we can do it all on a timeline that works for you.Mm-hmm.So, some things are a little bit more, you know, timely.Right.Um, but then other things we can tackle along the way.Mm-hmm.It doesn't have to be all at once, so that- Yeah.it's so overwhelming.UmYeah, and it can feel like that, right?Like- Yeah.it feels like, "Oh, I got, I gotta make sure all this, all my ducks are in a row right now" and- Right.yeah.Hopefully some of that is, is, can be held off for a little bit so you can- For a little, for, for a little bit.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.And if, if you're working with, um, a planner, they can really help you through that process.Yeah.And just, "Here's what we'll do first, and then, um, next," and so on and so on.Yeah, so like, you know, I know organization, like understanding your budget, stuff like that, but I think one of, one of the things that could happen too is your income source can shift, right?Like, maybe you had 2 incomes, may- and now it's down to one.So like, how, how c- how can you balance that sensibly?Mm-hmm.Yeah.A- and it goes back to the B word, budgeting.Yeah.Um, understanding your expenses, understanding your budget, um, and then understanding what those income sources are.And you know, it could be, um, Social Security, pensions, maybe you're still working and you have a, a working income.Um, and sometimes there's other places to access income too, right?So if there was a life- Mm-hmm.insurance policy, you might be able to draw an income off of that for a period of time, um, or different investment assets, or maybe, you know, you're retired and you have retirement accounts that you're taking distributions from.So all these different pieces, put it together, understand it, and then really if we understand that budgetYeah.Um, and then, and then you, if you know where your money's going, you canIt makes it a lot easier to, you know, "Okay, what are the essentials?What are the things that bring me joy," right?Um, and then, "What are the kind of extras-" Mm-hmm." that maybe we don't need, places to cut back," if you need to.Yeah.Um, so and that, that's all part of the, uh, rep- part of the process.So okay, so what are some, like kind of things I need to think about long-term from like a planning perspective, uh, or like readjusting my goals, stuff like that- Y-that, that I should be aware of?Yeah.I think, um, anytime you have, you know, a life-changing event, it's a good time to sit down and just reassess, right?And reevaluate your goals.So, what we'll do, um, right from the beginning a lot is just make sure we understand what those goals are.And, and you might not know right at first, um, so it's something we can talk about.But, um, understand, you know, even what you're worried about, what concerns you have, so we can address those.But then, um, you know, thinking about, okay, you know, where do you wanna live long term, right?Where do you see yourself?Is it in this home?Is it somewhere else?Um, how about, you know, if you're not retired yet, how does this change your retirement trajectory?You know, we might have to sit down and look at that.It might change your readiness or your timeline.And then even things like, um, looking at investment strategy, right?So especially if you weren't the one that was involved with a lot of the investment planning, it's a good time to sit down, 1, educate, um, 2, talk about risk tolerance, because maybe you've never had that conversation, and then 3, revisit those goals and make sure that your investments are still set up to support them.Mm-hmm.Right?It might be, it might w- warrant a change in your investment strategy.So that's- Sure.something else you'd wanna look at.Um, and then last piece I would say is it's a good time too to revisit estate documents- Mm-hmm.because that, um, could cause a change, you know, in your estate documents, maybe now who, um, your assets flow to at your, your passing now.Um, you wanna look at beneficiaries on accounts, make sure any changes that need to be done there.Um, so it's a good time to kinda sit down, revisit the goals, talk about all your different wishes, and make sure, you know, we implement any changes- Hmm.that need to be done to, to support it.Yeah.A- and I think, uh, you know, one of the things with Greg we were talking about is, that can change too, right?Absolutely.Like, so, so your goals today, you know, just get them down today.Absolutely.But then in, a few years from now, those may shift and you can always come back and, and adjust those.Yes.Yeah.Exactly.It's important to get them down, um, and because that way you can track progress.Doesn't mean they can't change.Right.And that's with anything.Yeah.You know, whether it be estate documents, financial plans, um, we're gonna have conversations over and over about those and as things change then, then we update and- Yeah.we, we, we evolve.Yeah.Yeah, it's nice to know that you're not just like, you're not putting something in concrete right now, right?No, you don't.Nope, we said we're gonna do this andYeah, yeah.Um, yeah, well I think that's all great.So for those of you at home, you know, first step, breathe.Breathe.Then, then we're gonna collect and organize all our stuff, create a budget, and then start thinking about long-term goals and how they've shifted.Yep.Great.Exactly.All right.Well, thanks Melissa, really appreciate it.This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only.Please see the full disclosure in our show notes for more information.